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me as I stand at
this threshold is to
surrender.
I have found this to
be an extremely difficult thing to
do. The difficulty is illustrated in the following dream:
Outdoors
I see a light in the sky. I am told that I must
turn my head away if the light is to descend upon me. I am
aware that I am dreaming. I bow
my head. The ground
around me begins to be illuminated by the
brilliant orb. I
begin to be afraid as it
nears me. I look up, and
it
withdraws into the sky. The process is repeated, but I
fail
to overcome my fear. Then I awaken.
Usually when I am
desirous of the illuminatory
experience, I fail to
realize that I am asking for
a
supremely humbling encounter. This is
easy to forget
when my thoughts are turned
to the beauty and joy
offered in the experience. But as I stand at the "threshing
door," when all of
my fears rise up
to thwart the
imminent union, my faith usually proves inadequate. This
theme is repeated in the following dream:
I
enter a church and know that I am expected to speak.
The congregation is singing a hymn,
#33, from a red
hymnal. While they go through
the usual preliminary
exercises, I decide to go outside to
gather myself. I am
worried and afraid because I don't know what I will
say. I
sit down in the grass and suddenly
come up with a topic
which feels right — "The Way of Surrender."
At this point
I look up in the eastern sky and see
a
large white orb of light many tunes
the size of the moon.
I realize that I am dreaming. I yell
out in joy knowing it
is coming for me. As soon as I
do the Light withdraws
into the sky as if
it is awaiting a more appropriate
response on my part. I know that
I must turn my eyes
away and trust. As I do, the Light descends. As
the Light
approaches, a woman's voice says,
"You've done well
reflecting this Light within yourself.
But now it must be
turned outward."
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