Will You Dream For Me?*

A Qualitative Study of the Dream Helper Ceremony

(part 8)

Appendix C.  Consolidated Interview Responses Continued

What do you think we learned about dreams from that experience?

H1:  I learned…I guess I hadn't really thought before that you could do this…that you could have a number of people dreaming for somebody and that you'd really get something meaningful out of it.  I guess I would have questioned that.  Now that I've gone through the experience; I can see where it works.  That was exciting!

H2:  That emotions, or really even simple symbols, things that we call crazy dreams can have a very deep insight…that a shoe isn't really a shoe, it could mean that you are about to travel on, you see footprints.  It's not really what it appears to be.  It has a much deeper meaning if you're able to discuss it.  For me it's a lot easier to discuss it with someone, and then I better understand my dreams and a little bit more about myself if I talk with someone about it.  So I think being able to really look at things in your dream as where you're going, or what or who's been happening in your life and what it means, and what it's trying to say to you and such as that.

H3:  Trust them more.  I've done this exercise before, but I've felt the depth of it more than I've ever felt it before.  I think it had to do with being in nature.  Real need, perhaps where she's at and I am at in the process in the process of development.  I'm not sure I could even identify all the components of that.

H4:   [I learned] that they can be helpful for more than one person; that even though you may be dreaming for someone else, there's probably still messages in the dream for yourself, and that even the whole group can gain insight from all the dreams together.

H5:  They're certainly helpful, and clearly they'll do whatever we ask them to.

H6:  I guess I already knew how relevant other people's dreams can be to your own life.

How much you can learn from someone else's dream and even the process they're going through to discover what it means.  That's what I learned the most about, kind of trying to peel the onion, what's really trying to be said there.

H7:  As I've always felt, trust them.  They will figure out if you have a problem, your inner self will figure out the answer and give you choices.  You have to decide which one is right for you.  Sometimes it doesn't give you choices, it's "go this way."  And that's the way you go.  It will never steer you wrong.

H8:  Here's one thing anyway, even when my dream recall is very sparse like it is currently.  I often have very little dream recall at camp for one reason or another.  I'm shorted on sleep, the bell comes in, and then there's whistling, and things like that.  So, retrieval is often difficult.  That showed me that even when retrieval is very difficult, I was still able to get something when I meant to.

H9: Well, I learned something about dream recall.  That's if I pay attention specifically to recall a dream, like when I first woke up on the morning I dreamed for [seeker], I remembered only one dream, and it seemed to be only a nonsense dream.  I thought; "I'm not going to be able to remember my dreams!"  But then I rolled over on my stomach and I recalled all my other dreams.  I think it was just an act of volition to draw them to the surface.  I just had to want to.

H11:  I don't know if I learned anything because I've done it before so many times.  I would say that we're all connected, and that even little snippets of dreams can be important.  A lot of people say that they don't have much because they only have this little piece.  But it turns out that their little piece, plus two or three other people's piece comes together and it creates a story and you can see the commonality.  Lois Ann in her dream had a theme of three.  In my dream there was a theme of three, the seeker himself had a theme of three.  So it wasn't a long dream, but the themes fit together so well.

H12:  I don't know if I learned anything new, but I think I re-experienced stuff I had experienced before and it reawakened me to the loveliness, the quickening energy that's in dreams and how helpful that can be.  That's always kind of exciting to have that stirred back up again.

H13:  I learned that they are a lot more powerful than I thought they were.  I didn't realize they could be in that psychic realm.  I knew dreams were in a different realm because they are unconscious when you're sleeping and your subconscious is giving you these images.  But I didn't know they could be that specific and directed.  I didn't know you could really direct them in that way.  That was very neat.

H14:  Well, I don't know.  I can't think of anything new I've learned because I've worked with dreams for a long time.

I:  OK, what did you confirm?

H14:  I confirmed that there's an importance in being thoughtful toward ourselves and to others with dreams, that it's important to approach these things carefully and reverently.  I confirmed that there's a great deal of spiritual growth that can come just from the desire and willingness to approach dreams and each other in such a reverent and careful manner.

H15:   I don't think that I learned anything new, but it reinforced the fact that we are all connected on other levels.  I'm a little slow at some things, it's such a great group of people, but it takes me a little while to get tuned in and it may take me longer than a week.

H16:  I think they're a real opportunity for change.  If you're willing to take the time and the energy to work with them…I think it takes a real commitment on a long-term basis for someone that's willing to do that, there's a pay off.  Not always in such big ways, but in smaller ways, definitely.

S. ONE:  I was hoping that they would be on target, …it was more about them than it was about me, and yet I could make it about me and do our process work.

S. TWO:  I can't say that I learned anything about dreams.

S. THREE:  I learned that dreams are the mind speaking to you and that together our dreams paint a more holistic picture.  We're all expressing from our individuality and the more expressions we have, the better it is.

S. FOUR:  That goes to a personal philosophy of life.  I believe that, "I am."  And I'm also "a part of."  I can look at each one there as a separate individual, or I can look there as an overall desire among the people that can reach out and touch and communicate.  It's a love bond that normally happens among families or among people that want to help another person.  There is something there that needs to be looked at.

          I can't speak on a scientific level of how, but I do know that thoughts are things.  Thoughts affect.  It was just an interconnection between people.  Love and free will can intensify that connection and desire to be a part of something.

What kind of questions to you think I should be asking people to learn more about this experience we had?

H1:  I think you've asked some good ones.  I'm not sure I could think of anything else.  If I do, I'll let you know.

H2: Hmmm…I don't know.  If they've ever done it before, or if they keep a dream journal, or if they discuss different types of dreaming, lucid dreaming.  If they're able to communicate with themselves in a dream state.  Kind of focus on the individual and see what their dream life is like.  Because a lot of that has a connection with how they dream   Learn more about the individual and group.  It would be better to reach a conclusion that way.

H3:  That one!  (laughter)  I'm not sure what I would ask, but maybe share a questioning process.  In 23 years of teaching school, I learned a process.  I would help them identify their feelings and the feelings in their dream.  Then try to give the dream a title like you would give a story a title, and not a one-word title.  Henry addressed that.  Robert Moss does some of that process.  A suggestion for people when they went back individually to process their own…what is your reality?  How does this relate to your waking life?  What more do you want to know about the dream?

H4:  Where do they come from!  Without the Dream Helper Ceremony, you would think that it was just from your subconscious.  But with this, you have to think bigger now. 

H5:  Did you ask me how I felt about it?  It's kind of a warm, fuzzy thing.  It's intellectually stimulating to sit around with people and look for patterns.  I didn't shout things out because I had been privileged to information so I didn't say much.  It's exciting to process something for people.  A good question would be "What would you do differently?"  [Such as..]  A follow-up session where you had the option to talk more.  I sat with 'Robert' today and said, "there was a piece of my dream that I didn't mention, and I think it was pertinent."  But it didn't feel important until it was all over.  Suddenly I thought it was the biggest part…that he handled it in a certain way, and the little bit of information that I hadn't remembered explained why he did it this way and why it was getting out of hand.  Sometimes when you think of things later, they're the most important.

H8:  Nothing comes to mind.  I think you have it very well covered.

H9: Hmmm…that's a good question!  Just to learn about dreams in general.  I'd like to learn about people dreaming together and sharing a dream.  I've heard of that happening but I've never experienced it.

H10:  Ask for some of the ways they set themselves up to remember the dreaming.

H11:  It would be interesting to find out what the results are.  In my study group, you know because you see the people week after week.  There was one woman who was having an issue with her husband.  He had left his job and she was having difficulty with that, the money issue and her being the one bringing in the money and all that.  Some of the dreams that we had, had to do with that whole issue.  I think it was a barrier between her and her husband.  They seemed to be drifting apart.  But after the Dream Ceremony, it seemed to bring them back together because she was able to see it from a different viewpoint.  We could see over time (and I still know this person) how that Dream Ceremony affected her life and kept her from maybe splitting with him.  I don't know if that's the complete reason, but it at least gave her a new view point and you could see their relationship change.  So the follow up would be helpful I think.

H12:  Hmmm…that's a good question.  I do tend to think about that, but I haven't in this case.  The other thought I had was [her] issue was more of a pondering.  Her issue had to do with the possible murder of her father.  Whether it was a suicide or not, was just real painful for her.  None of us directly tied into that.  It reminded me of some parapsychological research  I saw several years ago dealing with adolescent boys who couldn't deal with sexuality.  When photos of nude women were mixed in with the normal symbols of the testing that they do, there was psi missing all over the place among those young boys because it was just a taboo subject.  Whereas the college men did much better with those photos, and I wondered if  that was just such a hot, painful,  scary subject that none of us could face it even in our unconscious dreams.

          Now we did have some things happen, two us were sat on in the dreams.  Real unpleasant!  "Why is this going on?  Why am I being sat on by somebody?"  It was incongruous in the midst of the dream, somebody sitting on you.  So I think we were picking up elements of it, but it was hard for any of us to integrate that thing.  We still dealt with her, because her question was how can we find peace.  I think that was answered and given to her.  It was interesting and intriguing to me that we could not label what the problem was.  It was a tough one.  That was my musings.

H13:   I don't know.  Those seemed thorough.  I could write to you if I come up with anything.

H14:  To incorporate a question about ideals.  I believe ideals are very important and can have an impact on dreams and the intention of dreams.  Such as "Did you use any ideals, do you think it would be helpful to use ideals for this process?"  But that might be tricky because everyone has different ideals.  I guess it's because I have a fascination with ideals, so maybe that isn't a good question to ask.

          Maybe another one would be, "If they planned to use this process spontaneously with friends in the future."  I know people that just do that, they'll just have a dream helper thing with less formality.  You might just plant that seed in their mind.  "Would you do this with friends?  Are you interested in sharing this with other people on any kind of regular basis?"

H15:  You're doing great.  It would be from working with individuals and finding out what the individuals need.

H16:  I don't really know, but what comes to mine is the emotional connection that the dreamer has to the target person.  I definitely think it's helpful.

S. ONE: I think the questions are good.  Just getting people to talk about their stories, just what their experience was.  Just a very broad, general question, "What did you experience."

S. TWO: I have no idea, since I don't know what your focus is.  It has to come from you.

S. FOUR:  I could not add to that. 

Any general comments about the process?

H2:  I think it was really, really neat.  As a group, we did pinpoint on some emotions, and some steps forward.  I think it's really interesting that we were able, 6 or 7 different people, all had similar dreams.  The same symbols kept popping up in different dreams.  In other groups, [seeker] for example, a feeling of anxiety revolved around it and the dreamers had a feeling of anxiety before they went to sleep.  They were afraid they weren’t going to be able to remember their dreams…and that all connected with her problem.  I think it was really interesting that everyone was able to connect in that way.

H4:  I think it was a positive experience for everybody.

H10:  I can't think of any at the moment.  What are you trying to accomplish?

I:  Just a collective understanding of what happened.  How people felt about it, how it benefited, just general impressions of how it works, how it can be improved, how it can be made more personal, more relevant.

S. FOUR: The only other thing I would like to say about what did happen today is about the terrible amount of apprehension going into this.  When I found out that it wasn't going to be done in mass, but that we were going to break up into our separate groups and go our separate way with our team, it made it much easier.

I:  So you felt much more comfortable in a smaller group?

S. FOUR:  By a 100 percent!