My husband passed over 12 days before our 31st wedding anniversary. The following dream occurred during the early morning hours of our anniversary:

I am sitting down at a table. Everything is in a mist. A man, all in black, is standing beside me. His features are a blur in the mist, but I know it is my husband. I ask him about a savings bond I think I may have lost. He tells me that I haven’t lost any, that I have them all. He puts his arm around my shoulders. I grab his hand and hold it tightly. It is very cold, but it doesn’t matter. I feel comforted. He tells me that everything is OK. He asks if I feel better after my little upset. He says that after all, I am going to have his baby. He gets a bit playful and tickles me. He kisses me and his lips are cold. Then he says, "Well, I have to be reeling along." He leaves as if he were being drawn into the mist.

The nature of this dream was unlike—totally unlike—any other dream I have ever had. It was all in black, white and gray, yet I was so keenly aware of my sense of touch. It left me quite in awe and bewilderment at the time, but I have since come to see it as a major spiritual experience.

I had been concerned about having lost a savings bond, but after the dream I never again worried about it. Our youngest child was 20 years old at the time, so the part about "having my baby" is certainly not literal. One interpretation I’ve found meaningful is that the children would be a source of comfort and support for me, which they have indeed.

The "upset" referred to the alcoholic binge I had gone on after his death. His attitude toward it in the dream, however, was strictly out of character. He seemed to treat it so lightly in the dream, whereas in life my alcoholism had caused him great concern, frustration and even anger.

About three months after the dream, I was admitted to an alcoholism treatment center. There I was put into contact with Alcoholics Anonymous. Whether or not the dream was directly responsible for my recovery is hard to say. It did cause me to "come to believe" and gave me an unshakeable faith which I did not have before. Therefore, when the spiritually based A.A. program was presented to me, I was able and willing to accept it. That was over four years ago and I have enjoyed a very happy and rewarding sobriety ever since.