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Colleen.
I also feel that I'll never be able to communicate
all that I have been through-fear, death-and it
will even
be harder coming home to a strange atmosphere. I do not
go into the house.
Colleen's
written reflections on her dream
read as
follows:
I have a fear of
airplanes, and since coming back
from vacation they have occurred in my dreams three
times. My last flight was a bad
one and I was really
scared. I am just getting over
the instability of my
nerves. When I fly I am putting
my life into someone
else's hands. I saw Charlton Heston in previews of the
movie Skyjacked. I was named after Russ's wife and we
live in the house that she grew up in and
I have her
room. Jim Jackson and I rode the
same bus and I
wondered if I had an image of him in the very back on
the plane because all the boys liked to sit in the
back
seat of the school bus. I
spent five hours in S. F.
Airport watching takeoffs. When I was a freshman
in
high school I wrote a paper on a group of
people on
an airplane who knew that their fate was probably
at
hand. I wrote about each person's
reaction to the
situation and ended the
story without letting the
reader know if the plane crashed or not.
My feeling for wanting to get home is
heightened by
the attitude of all the people towards the dead people.
I recall the movie Future Shock
where the airlines
counter girl is actually a robot, or functions like
one.
Toni, in my seminar, had written
in her evaluation
about how she dealt
from a smiling,
happy,
understanding viewpoint because
of her airline
training.
As I crossed the street
and walked down the block
there was no traffic or people. I
felt alone. When I
went home at Christmas there were a lot of changes in
me that I was unable
to communicate. My whole
outlook towards myself had changed
but when I go
home I just sort of fit in where I was when
I left. That
is okay but I get frustrated when I want to share inner
experiences. Death is a real experience and if I had to
tell my parents that their friends were dead
it would
be so difficult. I have to learn
to deal with fear and
death on my own. In the beginning of the dream I
was
in the country. It is quiet and beautiful. It is as soon as
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