As creatures of relationship, communication is the real life-blood of our existence. Our own sense of self, who we are and the meaning of our existence, in this view, will come less from introspection than from communication with others. When I experience truly empathic communication with someone, when the other person is listening deeply and is present for me, and when I am able to hear the other person's message, I experience more than information exchange. I experience myself differently, more fully and in a new light of discovery. The other person feel close to me. I experience the other person's presence in my own sense of myself. Furthermore, I feel closer to something beyond us. The feeling of communion does have aspects of a mystical feeling, touching the transcendent.

Communication is relationship realized. If, in fact, we all are, indeed, related to one another by a variety of interdependent webs, then when we are in communication with each other we are closer to an awareness of the truth of our existence. Communication helps us create awareness of our relationships and the life force motivating them. Communication enables us to participate in the creation and maintenance of our living space. Our communication experiences bring us closer to an awareness of our reality as creatures of relationship.

At the same time as we are interdependent, and thus of one piece, we are also individuals. We each bring unique movements to the dance. The full realization of our transcendent nature requires us to live simultaneously as one with each other and as individuals. Communication skills seems to be our best bet toward fulfilling the potential of this gateway to spiritual identity. To realize this sense of the transcendent we have to communicate with each other. But how? We often are aware of communication more through its failures than because of its successes.

There's a new book that not only attempts to help us gain new appreciation for the importance of communication in realizing spiritual awareness, but also helps us improve our communication abilities. It is titled, Healing Communication: A Psychospiritual Approach, by Rick Phillips (Deva Foundation). His book is itself a meditation on the healing power of communication. It mixes both the psychology of parental and interpersonal relations with the spirituality of communion with higher levels of being, one's higher self, non-physical beings, and God. A bit of communication with dolphins also adds a valuable dose of inspiration. He weaves together these themes in a way that inspires me to better appreciate my own efforts at communication, he validates my interest in communication as meditation. A good comparison would be Martin Buber, who, in his very singular style, wrote "I and Thou." It became more than a book title, but a password into an exquisite realm of experience. He does a good job trying to show how deep communication between two people has not just healing potential, but also the ability to help people experience their God connection.

The Bible has a key to this mystery. It is in the story of the Tower of Babel. People were working to build this tall sky-scraper that would take them right up to heaven. Apparently God took offense at this project, so he knocked over the tower. More to the point, he handicapped the people by turning their speech to "Babel," so that everyone spoke a different language and could not understand one another. So then they had a harder time to collaborate. So not being able to speak the same language humbles us, divides us and weakens us.

One attribute of our purgatory on earth is the theme of separation. Communication can overcome separation. In a state of separation we are not our real self. Our real self is one with Creation. Communication becomes the way towards the realization of that oneness.

Shame is a frequent culprit in creating a sense of separation. Phillips frequently urges that we risk communication to dissolve the toxic effects of shame. He describes a situation I have often experienced, and maybe you can also recognize it:

There is something I want to say to someone, but I feel bashful because of not wanting to expose myself. But the thing stays with me, it wants saying. Finally I surrender and say what is on my mind. I am surprised when the other person responds enthusiastically and responds in kind. We discover that we have a special bond. What if I had not risked that communication? What secret wisdom was at work in prodding me to finally reveal myself to the other person? Phillips suggests that in this mystery lurks the healing power of communication. It returns us to our Source.