The night before, Barbry had talked about not wanting to feel we had to remember our dreams. She said that images and fantasies are from the same world as dreams. I was grateful to her for saying that. I had come to feel that my waking and sleeping dreams all come from the same source—my nonrational mind. I felt that I could learn to bridge the gaps between the different parts of my mind. I realized that I had been alienated from the nonrational parts and that the nonrational and rational parts had been separated from one another, just as I have been separated from other women. I felt that these forms of alienation contributed greatly to our oppression. When I recognized that my dream world, my fantasy world, my childhood memories, and my waking life were all one, I found a new wholeness.

This weekend I was sure I'd remember my dreams, as I'd been dreaming very strongly the week before with several vivid dreams a night Many had been about gatherings of women. As it turned out, appropriately enough, my dreams flickered past me, tantalizing me, teasing me for having been so confident about remembering them. When I woke up, I kept trying to catch them, thinking, "Help! I came here to dream, and what happens? I'm sure everybody else has got a dream."

I meditated and went to see my inner guide, as I often do in such confusing situations. I do this meditation as a waking fantasy, so it is very similar to dreams. Sometimes I do not have any actual vision, so I pretend that I am making up a story. It all comes from my inner self. My guide, Leo, is a young, androgynous figure in a male body. His job is to advise me and to take me to see other characters "inside" that I need to work with. This time I was taken to a new figure, the Lady Weaving Dreams. She gave me many visions, some advice about expectations, and a poem.