INCUBATIONThe relationship with my guide was crucial. From him I wanted the answers. I wanted to discover my myth and allay the desolation of my inner wounded child. My guide helped me to create my ritual and to persevere through the difficult journey of incubation. He also encouraged me to "see" both beautiful and terrifying undiscovered parts of myself. For me he was, as Jung said, "the archetypal wise old man; the superior master and teacher who symbolizes the pre-existent meaning hidden in the chaos of life." (5) Gordon also helped me to find an inner guide whom I summon through written dialogue in time of confusion and meaninglessness. I imagined my inner guide to be a wise and compassionate dervish and trickster. The name that came to me was Hyperion. Alan: Hyperion, guide me to my source and help me gently and boldly to express myself. O ancient dervish with deep friendly crinkle lines and brown knowing eyes. Tell me what I need for my incubation. Hyperion: Let go of your fretting. Your healing instincts have brought you here. It is your innate urge to higher understanding. Stay with your questions. Take it easy. I love you and I know you will do okay. Alan: I am scared I won't remember a dream and I will prove to myself again that I am inadequate. Hyperion: Your fear is perfect. It is just what you need to learn. Stay connected to this dialogue. Experience your fear deeply. Don't turn away. My incubation loosely followed the ritual described by Henry Reed. Besides attempting a personal vision quest, I undertook to reflect upon and communicate my experience as part of my research. The testimony of my incubation became my thesis for my Master's degree in psychology. There I recounted the specific procedures of my incubation: selection, the inner calling, preparation through journal work, formulation of a question that expresses a major life problem or area of needed development, dialogue with my inner guide, Hyperion, creation of personal symbols, ornaments and drawings, fasting from food for two days and words for one day, opening to the healing inspiration of my dreams, encounter with Gordon, my human guide, and sleeping and receiving dreams in the sacred redwood faerie ring. The question I chose was: How can I learn to trust and nurture my inner voice? I prepared for my incubation by trying to imagine what holds me back from trusting my inner voice. I observed my reactions to fearful situations in my dreams by studying their emotional themes. I followed and recorded my waking energies and emotional states also. I identified a few major 28
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